soledad penadés
repeat 4[fd 100 rt 90]

Archive for the ‘stories’ Category

20070626 Software budgets

The web team, composed exclusively of interns, made a request to their project manager:

– We'll need a php editor, the trial license for Ultraedit in this machine has expired and we can't be disconnecting the network cables each time someone starts Dreamweaver so that it doesn't detect we are all running the same license.

– Ok, just download something in emule and try to crack it. Don't know, Zend Studio or something. It's ok, as long as you have space in your computer for installing it… Just make sure you download it in your home computer, since we have a very limited network connectivity and we can't afford to use the office's network for downloading large files. We don't have budget for development tools either.

Some years later, different country:

– I'm afraid I'll need Flash CS3 for doing this…

– Ok, no worries. Just let me know which package you need and I'll buy it.

(10 minutes later)

– You can find the software in this folder. License key is there as well.

* sole is trying to pick her jaw, which got stuck in the floor, with no luck.

20061013 How about a nice game of chess?

War games

Warning: if you haven't seem this movie don't keep reading - lots of spoilers below!

Don't remember how, but I ended up in the page of the manufacturers of the computer which Mathew Broderick used on the mighty War Games, called IMSAI 8080. That page has plenty of trivia and funny facts about the equipment, specially the tricks they did for making the computers stand out more - like adding more leds and indicators (obviously useless), or how did they cheat to make the computer type a complete sentence instead of having to type it by themselves each time (if you pay attention you realise they never mispell a single letter while typing in the movie, and there's a lot of typing in that non-mouses movie!).

So I decided that it was time to revisit one of my child classics. If I recall properly is almost 20 years since I saw the movie so there are lots of details that I missed or forgot. But when watching it again - oh now I understand how I ended up studying Computer Science! that big 8" floppy disk, the synthetiser, all the BIG switches there, and the "Yeah whenever I build I system, I always leave a backdoor". It was so suggestive even then, when I didn't understand the whole meaning of things and didn't know almost nothing of english… Now it has been quite interesting since an important joke was lost in the spanish translation, and it is the name of the super computer. What in spanish was simply W,O,P,R, in the english version is pronounced quite similarly to whopper, which is quite funny.
I remember it was also when I started to learn some programming, with LOGO. I used to write programs which output a "Logon:" (even if I didn't know what it meant) and just didn't work until we entered "Joshua". All with that green screen computer… aaah, those were the times, deffinitely…

It was very funny because my school mates were worrying about He-Man and Barbies and I was trying to figure out how to do the kind of pixelated abstract graphics which used to accompany every computer magazine article. But my most important worry was: if we built programs with Logo, and Logo was built with CP/M, which tool was used for creating CP/M?

That was also the time that I learnt how to play chess, so it was all like a converging movie. As I saw later, it had impacted more people than what I thought: first day in the uni, first lecturer's warning: "this is not a war games school - we do not teach how to hack here". You can't imagine our sadness faces…!

WOPR

The WOPR - aka the Whopper!

20060903 Dirty people and The Horror

My sister was commenting me yesterday the problems she's having with her new flatmate, and while I was kind of amazed, the situation wasn't new - it all sounded too familiar to my ears:

  • Shared flat
  • A girl which doesn't care
  • and also borrows without asking (steals)
  • Dirt
  • Insects
  • Anger!!

Why people behave that way is something which escapes my understanding. I have been thinking about it quite a lot -specially when I had to fight against one of those people-, trying to find a reason which explains what brings someone to act in a way that not only generates dirt but it's also the most disgusting dirt ever.

Dracula's Castle

In my case I had two separate chapters of these "Human Misery" examples. First was when I moved to Dracula's Castle, a shared flat with three more girls. It was the first time I was with more than one flat mate so I was quite excited about it, hoping it would be fun (specially because if it's just one flat mate and she's very busy you can't talk with anyone else, but with three people it looked different). But it turned to be quite a different thing… When I first visited the flat it looked normal, in the students flat style, with horrible furniture, decayed wall paint, etc, but quite near a green area and my university, and it was also in the same street that I had been the year before.

That day there were some people in the flat, all the windows were open and there was light and pure air inside it. The night I moved in, it was the day before an exam, and it was quite a different story. I opened the door and was slapped in the face with a mix of tobacco and hot, closed air. Seems like there hadn't been anyone for some weeks. I then opened the balcony door to allow some fresh air to enter and to be able to breath, and went to the kitchen to leave the little food I had brought. And that guys, that was The Horror.

I switched on the light and had to wait for some good 15 seconds until the tube stabilised (seems like the condenser wasn't really in good shape). Then I started noting things… There was a thick layer of grease on the cupboard over the extractor hood, as if they had been frying fish during days non stop. But it wasn't the real problem; there were hundreds of insects sticked in the grease, as if it was an insect trap. I opened one cupboard looking for an empty one and found all sorts of things which had went off. There were flour and sugar, both with new friends inside, camomille and more teas whose bags were almost disintegrating, several tins which had survived their best-before-date and were almost going to explode, etc.

Actually the whole flat was seriously dirty, not only the kitchen. My room was quite small; even though, I had to clean it three times until the water stopped looking like black ink. So that's why I called that flat Dracula's castle. And there's lots more stories about that one but I won't write them now (maybe I should write a book instead).

The executive wannabe

My second big confrontation with The Horror came some years later. I rented a new flat and looked for people to share it with me. It was good the first year but the second was disastrous. Beginning with two antisocial sisters with a ridiculous dog which used to pee everytime the doorbell sounded, and continuing with a girl which was a complete nightmare for me. I must confess I've forgotten his name. I had her phone number in my mobile for some months with the name "Whore" or something like that - to not to pick it whenever she called menacing me. So yes, let's call her W.

The condition for entering the flat was that everybody had to be an student. That was a way of just having people with similar interests and way of life, and looked quite logical to me. W promised that she was studying Economics, but was also working to pay her studies. She lied blatantly. In fact she was working in the night shift in a call center for a mobile telecom company (or that she said, I still have my doubts) and pretending, or aspiring, to be a high executive, thus trying to dress accordingly, with supposedly stylish elegant clothes, and spoke, or tried to, with a posh accent. But she spoke like a snake, with an annoying sibilance even if she was not whispering. She also hardly ate anything and was terribly skinny, thanks to a diet which consisted only in oat flakes with pure coffee and smoking, lots of smoking.

I didn't know none of these facts (apart from the sibilance, but I didn't want to judge anyone just because of the way they speak). I gave her the keys and left Valencia for holidays. So she spent a good month and a half alone in the flat (the sisters were away in their far town). And when I finally appeared there, on 1st september, I got absolutely shocked.

What once was a (relatively) lovely flat with well cared plants, clean air and general good appearance, had turned to be a complete chaos. Again, there was a layer of dirt over everything. This time, there were even cigarette butts on the floor. Like if she had been smoking and just decided to drop them there, without looking for an ashtray. Who needs them anyway? And there was a horrible smell all around the place, a mix of tobacco and personal odour. Very disgusting.
The living room was depressing. The plants looked thirsty and extenuated, there were lots of "Woman" magazines spread all around the soffas - that seemed to be her daily read. I went outside and discovered one of my towels being used as a tablecloth for the table which was in the balcony. My anger started to flourish…
I went to the kitchen and found my coffee makers completely burnt, as if she had left the coffee boiling for hours in them, and even more, there were some unidentified living elements inside them. And she also had used all my cups and consumed my oil, salt, sugar…!

On the bathroom, she had used my mouthwash, and also had left more butts over the sink. The best of all was when I discovered that she had moved one table which was in the room of one of the sisters and had put it on the balcony of my room. She also took the opportunity to investigate all of my drawers and take whatever she felt was ok to take. Fortunately I didn't left anything valuable there but it was absolutely disgusting to have my personal space violated in that way.

When we started the university again, she used to come back from work at 2am or later, and woke all of us up with her noises while she prepared her specialty: coffee with oat flakes.
Obviously, and specially after she negated all the facts, I decided I was going to kick her out, we couldn't live with someone like that. The coward sisters and the even more coward landlord ("I'm ok as long as she pays") didn't do anything to force her out, so that's why she thought it was just me against her, and called me menacingly later. I can assure you it was a horrible experience.

20060515 And now everybody wants to follow a healthy lifestyle

There are news which can shock you deeply when they suddenly arise in your screen. Now I can't find the news (information overload, anyone?) but basicly they were:

  1. McDonald's restaurants are going to be refurbished and redesigned to look more healthy, less plastic, more like an iPod (!!!)
  2. Construction workers are demanding healthy breakfasts. They can't find healthy alternatives in the "deep fry" restaurants (as one could expect!!)

So… McDonald's, the king of fries and greasy food wrapped in plastic containers which you can eat in a plastified yellow environment, are now trying to use more natural furniture which looks less "toyish". Why? The article was pointing that young professionals liked more the Starbucks ambience, with lounge style furniture, dim lights, etc, and MCD wanted to steal those customers back to their share. Hummm… I'm afraid you can't compare the delicate smell of a coffee with the agressive in-your-face stink of MCD burgers, even if you have the finest furniture ever. Even if you feel that you are inside an iPod.

And then you also find that those apparently rude and not worried at all about their diet hardworkers, the lovely construction workers, get suddenly interested about having a good breakfast with vegetables. Lots of them. So what's going to happen with the Full English Breakfast restaurants?

More: I bought a salad on friday for lunch and I noticed they didn't come in a completely plastic box as they came before on that store. Even more, there was a label which proudly stated they had removed the maximum amount of plastic they could and that's why I was eating a salad from a cardbox. How lovely. No, seriously, I like the detail. I think I must have been the first one in asking explicitely in the market to not to have a non recyclable plastic tray for the meat, "it is enough with the bag". So yes, that's nice.
But maybe because I'm spanish and I've grew in a "mediterranean" diet, all this fever about going healthier sometimes seems ridiculous to me, as for me it is the natural choice.

Of course I'm happy with the mediterranean diet becoming famous (that way I can get better, exotic ingredients in the shops such as olives) but sometimes it's a bit excessive: you feel like bombed page after page, mediterranean restaurants multiply on every corner (offering a delirious shuffle of whatever ingredient at the same time, just because they are meant to be healthy, and leading to abominations like paella with jalapenos), mediterranean food is announced and promoted by chefs (which turn to be famous just for the sole fact of embracing the mediterranean diet) and it finally looks so trendy that you know that even the promoters don't believe themselves.

Let's see how many months/years does it last… and let's start wondering which healthy lifestyle will be copied next.
Ahhhh … trends!!!

20060505 Police show at lunchtime

Here I go with this kind of things that one can find only in London… I was having lunch on my usual square and looking without too much attention at the cars passing by up and down Clerkenwell Road.

One of those cars was a big shiny BMW which was circulating at normal speed… everything seemed normal. Then a policeman makes them signs to stop. They stop and a young driver goes out the car with a redbull can on his hand. I wondered whether there was some law in UK and drivers are not allowed to drink such kind of beverages while driving, who knows. While I was meditating, a police car stops just immediately on the rear of the BMW and two policemen appear on stage.

They start inspecting the documentation of the driver while another policeman uses his radio to communicate something… very seriously. Then one gets some kind of detector from the police car boot and starts inspecting the car. Of course, they had made the other passenger dismount the vehicle. Both the driver and the passenger were young men, quite posh looking. I would say maybe Indian but I am not sure since I was quite far away.

The inspection gets more serious, they start passing their mysterious detector even on the boot of the car. Bags, rear seat… nothing is ignored.

Suddenly one of the policemen enters the car through the drivers door, seats there and… moves the car across the road, to the opposite side of the square.

Meanwhile the driver has been handcuffed, arrested and moved inside the police car.

And the passenger gets alone in the middle of the street with a face like this :-|

WTF?!?!?